Boil, bubble, toil and trouble…

I don’t have time for this lip-flapping puffery. Tests to perform, tests to perform—subjects to atomize.  Aggggghhhhh! Fine! A few seconds is all I can spare, while I let this sulfur bi-carbonate mixture cool.

An introduction…yes…I am Dr. Phineas T. Bubonic, professor emeritus at the RASA School for Endocryonics and Chemical research. Unquestionably brilliant, I have students lining up for miles to partake in my latest concoctions. Some are immaculately successful. Others are, well…interesting.

Some of my…how shall I say this…”peers”… feel my methods are marginal, even unethical. Ethics? Within this organization?! Makes me wretch! They forget themselves, obsessed with influencing the humans when a war rages over our heads. They will surely come around, see this world my way when my plans finally come to fruition.

Now, be gone from my sight! I must resume my research.

Oh, and I don’t recommend stealing a nibble of the Bippicakes on the lab table you’ve been eyeing so greedily. They are not entirely, how shall I say it…pure.